


If The Temperature Is Too Extreme Then Exit The Food Prep Block

by rainbowBarnacle



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cleaning, Domestic, Fluff, Gen, Other, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-10
Updated: 2012-08-10
Packaged: 2017-11-11 19:49:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/482258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowBarnacle/pseuds/rainbowBarnacle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tiny fluff piece where Karkat and Kanaya get their clean on while waxing diamonds for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If The Temperature Is Too Extreme Then Exit The Food Prep Block

There's a lot to do on the asteroid at first. No one is sleeping well, and there's so much to clean up. Together you wash the blood off the walls, fix broken transportalizers, and remove clutter. It's comforting; you never did like how messy it always was before.

You make the mistake of mentioning this to Karkat while the two of you tidy up the absolute disaster of a food prep block. This earns you a fifteen minute rant about how no one thought to fucking pick up after themselves when  _he_  was running things, no, let's just leave our shitty piles wherever the hell we please and almost kill ourselves tripping over idiotic one-wheeled devices and hide our useless gaudy dresses in his secret fucking private space, that's just goddamned motherfucking _perfect_.

You smile. "For all the good it did me. Tavros's horse creature ate holes in all of them but the red one. I'll need to make more cloth."

"Where the hell did that thing run off to anyway?"

"I have no idea."

"I don't even go in there anymore.  _Thollux's_  stupid bees have taken over. It's a nightmare of wax and honey and wires. I can hear them buzzing from behind the door. It's a good fucking thing I don't sleep or they'd keep me awake." 

"How are they even surviving in there?"

" _I don't want to know._ "

Between the two of you, work goes fast. He scrubs the counter tops until they're surgically clean and tackles the giant pile of dishes. You clean out the thermal hull and discover a stale half-eaten chocolate cake, some spectacularly moldy cheese, a horrific pile of slime you learn is actually thawed cluckbeast, and a mystery substance wrapped in foil that is all the more unsettling in that it has no smell at all.

You discover that the only thing worse than disposing of moldy food is scrubbing out the stains and goo and crust that remains. By the time you're finished, Karkat has swept, mopped, and is standing on a chair trying to wipe down the tops of the cupboards.

"Karkat. Let's take a break."

"I don't take breaks. Do I look like a troll who takes breaks? The last time I took a break I ended up witnessing the terrifying deaths of all our dreamselves before meeting a stabby, painful end. No breaks."

"Then help me create a list. We need actual food."

"What do you care?  _You_  don't need any of it."

You roll your eyes. "Get off the chair, Karkat."

"I can list food fine from where I am."

"You're going to break your neck."

You grimace as he balances himself on one leg. "Don't be ridicul- _FUCK_ \--"

The chair wobbles violently and he ends up avoiding a nasty fall by clinging to one of the cupboard doors. Your eyes drift shut and you pinch the bridge of your nose.

He tosses his dishrag angrily into the sink and hops off. "Don't you say one. fucking. word."

"I will think them inside my head, where you can't see."

"Good. Let's get this over with."

Together you end up alchemizing rice, beans, grubloaf, moojuice, steaks, vegetables, cluckbeast eggs--in spite of Karkat's fussing because they always came out  _blue_ , eggs should not be fucking blue--nancho chips, grubcorn, and far more chocolate bonbons than any pair of trolls ever has any business eating. Still, Karkat pops one into his mouth and you can't resist one either and before you know it the two of you have demolished the entire pile.

Karkat wipes at his chocolate smeared mouth before slumping against the alchmizer and clutching his stomach. " _Uuugghhhh_."

"My thoughts exactly."

His eyes widen as something dawns on him. "Oh my fucking god." He's staring at your midriff in horror. His voice comes out very small. "Where the bulgeflopping hell does it all  _go,_ Maryam?"

His face has you in helpless giggles. "Do you honestly expect  _me_  to know?" You squeeze your eyes shut and try not to think about it too hard. "Ugh. I think. We definitely overindulged."

"Want to make some more?"

"Hell yes."


End file.
